


a light in dark places

by elrohir



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Family, Gen, Tolkien Secret Santa 2018, Valinor, gift-giving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 02:58:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17195213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elrohir/pseuds/elrohir
Summary: Nerdanel and Celebrimbor have a conversation about the nature of gift-giving. For Tolkien Secret Santa 2018.





	a light in dark places

**Author's Note:**

> For @grundyscribbling on Tumblr. Merry Christmas!

Nerdanel’s crackling fireplace filled the sitting-room with warm light. Celebrimbor sat across from her on a comfortable chair, a steaming mug of tea in his hands.

“It was very kind of you to have me over, Grandmother.”

“Mandos didn’t beat your manners out of you, I see! You were always so polite.” Nerdanel laughed. “I’m glad to see you again, grandson.”

Celebrimbor smiled. “I’m glad to see you too. It has been far too long.”

“Indeed.” Nerdanel took a sip of her tea. “Now, before we spend the entire evening catching up, what was it that you wanted my advice on?”

Celebrimbor studied his mug of tea. “As you know, I spent many years in Eregion. A good part of those years were passed with one whom I once called friend.”

“Sauron.”

“Yes, though I knew him as Annatar.” He paused. “I am not quite sure how I want to phrase this.”

“Take all the time you need,” said Nerdanel. 

Celebrimbor gazed into the fire, flame dancing in his eyes. “Annatar—Sauron—revealed of himself many things, but there was a hidden part of him I could never quite grasp. I suppose I know now why that was, but I wonder now if any of the gifts he gave me were true at all.”

“A worthy question,” Nerdanel said, meeting his eyes.

“One thing that Feanor could never give me was his whole self,” she said. “A part of his heart was always elsewhere, where I could not reach it. But that does not mean that what we shared in the years we were together was less meaningful.”

She pointed at her chest. A garnet hung from a simple gold chain around her neck. “I carry a part of him with me even now, though he is gone. It is impossible to know a person well and not be transformed by them.”

“Those words are less heartening when he who I knew was _Sauron_.”

“Perhaps. But even Feanor was no paragon of morality, and do not the tales say that Sauron was not wholly evil until past your time? If I see anything of him in you, grandson, it is insatiable curiosity and a fierce desire to make better the world around you. You have the fire to shape Arda Marred into Arda Beautiful!”

Celebrimbor was taken aback. His chest felt light, as though a heavy weight had been lifted from it.

“Just because a gift has an ill root does not mean the gift itself is ill. Sauron had evil in him, but that evil has not touched you. Do not trouble yourself over things of the world past.”

Celebrimbor did not know what to say. “Thank you, Grandmother. Your words uplift me more than you know.”

“I’m glad to hear it. Now, _I_ have a little gift for you, grandson,” Nerdanel said, a new lightness in her voice. Celebrimbor blinked in surprise. In the palm of her hand was a tiny silver statuette, its hands open in front of it. Whether it was a gesture of giving or receiving he did not know. 

“Go on, take it!”

Celebrimbor gingerly picked up the statuette and held it up close, the delicate metalwork glinting in the warm yellow light of Nerdanel’s home. He narrowed his eyes, studying it more closely. 

“Why, it’s me,” he said, suddenly realizing. Nerdanel smiled at him, warm and wide. 

“So that you remember to open up those silver fists of yours once in a while.” She closed his fingers over the figurine, hands cool over his. “You have a family here, and a home. No one can take that from you. Not ever.”


End file.
